Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why Do We Have To Get Old?

Holy Crap! I haven't truly exercised for almost two years so last night I decided hey, there's a hill right here, why not climb it. I dusted off my stretch pants and work out gear, put fresh batteries in my MP3 player already filled to capacity with catchy fast tunes to motivate my stride, and set out to conquer the hill.


1.4 miles and 25 minutes later, I returned home feeling like I conquered the world. Okay the first step is the hardest right? Made dinner when I got home and really didn't feel like eating much so that's a good first step. Until last night!!!!


I think the worst thing about getting old is your mind says "Yes I Can" and your body says, "Ha Ha you fool!! I swear I was up at least 3 or 4 times in such pain in my shins. The only thing to do is try and stand on it to make the pain go away. But that didn't even work last night. I was have asleep sweeping through the medicine cabinet trying to shove any medication down my throat that I thought would stop the pain. Then, my common sense set in and warned me not to just take something, expired and prescribed a few years back for pain, that's been lingering on the shelf warning me to stay away. So, instead I endured the pain and tears and spent the night hoping in and out of bed. Today, being the first of the month couldn't be busier day for me and I work on the 2nd floor that has 16 stairs to climb up to. Plus the boss has been away so today he decided to see how many times he could send me up and down these stairs. My poor old bones. But.....

IT IS WHAT IT IS

I am grateful for having two legs to make me be able to walk in the first place. I'm grateful for my sporty MP3 player and the computer to connect it to to download music into it and I am grateful I live in a nice home in the hills with a beautiful view. Got home tonight and climbed it again, in pain, not as fast and not as far but still managed to do it. Now I'm on a roll. Just PLEASE let me sleep!!!

Friday, February 4, 2011

How To Survive A Colonoscopy

January 10th, 2011

For the last 4 years my doctor has insisted upon me getting a colonoscopy and for the last 4 years I have put it off. I guess when you turn 50 your body starts falling apart and they need to check every inch of you. Well even though it's not on my "Bucket List," I finally decided to cross this off and made an appointment today. February 4th it is.

January 11th - 20th, 2011

I think I have asked everyone I know if they have had a colonoscopy and everyone says the same thing. It's not the procedure, it's the prep. For almost everyone that has had the procedure, they all remember being somewhat awake and watching the screen. DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS? I have no desire to see the inside of me on a video monitor. The thought gives me the heebie jeebies. Of course I have that great ability of making everything worse in my head by over analyzing it, so now my waking moments are filled with nothing but the crazies. Best way to help - Stay busy!!!

Today at lunch I went to get the prep from my pharmacy. OMG - You've got to be kidding. 4 liters??? Can this be true? Just looking at the bottle is enough to intimidate. Okay you can do this..... Mind over Matter.


January 31, 2011

For some reason I just can't get this procedure out of my mind. I've spent the weekend, on and off, looking on line for more info about colonoscopy. Can you believe YouTube has many videos on it? I even found a "Colonoscopy for Dummies" book on line which I promptly downloaded. I recommend it as it's written nicely. I liked the part about letting your gas go in the recovery room - don't be shy. It says you are put under a "conscious sedation." That will never work on me. I have a high tolerance to drugs, have to have 20-30 shots of Novocaine to work, nitrous sometimes heightens my senses, so no way this can work. I have to call and protest or confirm I will be totally out - wake me up when it's over.

I found a brave sole, news anchor from channel 2 news, having his done live on T.V. Did you know that your lower intestine is 4-6 feet long and they put their little light all the way to the end of your tunnel? Holy Moly. Gotta stop looking at this stuff as I think maybe now I know too much and may be better to go in blindly? I went to bed and tossed and turned a bit and when I opened my eyes, my ceiling fan cast a shadow that looked a lot like the end of the instrument scope when they are cutting off a polyp. GEEZO can I just go to sleep?

February 1st, 2011

Even though the 1st of the month is my busiest day at work, have to put a call into my doctor to ease my mind. Great, only an answering machine. UGH. Wait a few hours and call again stating it is my second call. Waaa Laaa, got a call back in less than 10 minutes. The woman on the other end seemed to be knowledgeable and understand my concerns. She said 90%of the people will fall asleep under what is normally used but I can tell the doctors in advance about my tolerance (or lack of) to drugs and they can make sure I am out. I sure hope she is correct cause that REALLY eased my mind. She also told me if I fast properly on Thursday, I will be okay if I can get 3/4 of the bottle down. My question, was if I can't finish the liquid, do I cancel my appointment? Okay well I'm feeling better now and it's really not as bad of a problem in the back of mind.

February 2nd, 2011

Starting today I can't eat anything red or purple, no seeds, no fruits or vegetables, no beans, no popcorn. I guess it's tuna with my crust cut off bread to avoid the seeds. Oh Joy. But the good thing is, I'm not as nervous today. Yeah it's on my mind but I guess my body is now going through acceptance mode, or IT IS WHAT IT IS mode. As long as I know I will be out, the nurse on the phone promised me, well then I will survive this and be okay. I've got 10 hard butterscotch candies ready to suck on between the gulps of who knows what. Tomorrow is Pre-D-Day and I heard the worst part. Wish me luck. Stripped my body of all my jewelry, anyone who knows me knows what a chore that is alone. Hey I found a funny video about colonoscopies by Bill Connolly. Check it out.

February 3rd, 2011

It's all liquid today, chicken broth it is as I have no idea what else that can be. Oh yeah you can have clear soda. Lucky I had enough to do at work today to make the day go by fairly fast. I just want it to be this time tomorrow and I can get back along with my life. At least, I was not too nervous today, not like I've been for the last week. Oh I tried to take a photo this morning of the colonoscopy scope on my ceiling but it's too dark to come out. Thought it would add a little humor to the blog post.


Home at 5:25 and made my solution and started to drink at 5:30.  Was suppose to start at 6:00 pm drinking my solution (4 liters can you imagine). Figured I could get done earlier maybe. by 6:45, let the games begin. I am on glass #6 of 8 ounces each, every 10 minutes. My stomach feels like it will explode if I drink anymore. Making all kinds of funny sounds and I feel the games might begin pretty soon. Wow right on schedule, I think the first glass I drank just came out exactly as it went in. hahaha Glad I can still laugh about this. The more I drink the worse it tastes.


6:45 Working on glass #7 but I am behind schedule now. My bottle is almost have way done some victory but it's bigger at the bottom than top. False illusion of hope. Ironically, this is the first time I am looking at the glass half empty. :-)

7:00 Starting glass #8 and my body feels sort of light headed. There's a slight ringing or tinny feeling in my ears and head. My body is probably saying, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME." Sucking on a butterscotch candy to get the taste out of my mouth. I wonder how they came up with this solution stuff anyway. Did someone drank it by accident?

I'm really having a hard time swallowing anymore. Got to have this mind over matter thing kick in better. Guess I will watch a foreign movie to get my mind off this.  Been to the potty 4 times now and it's feels like I am giving myself a radiator flush. It's not exactly what I was expecting and so far, really, other than the taste of the solution, the diarrhea is not too bad. Only half way through glass number 8 and I'm supposed to start #9 in 4 minutes. SHIT this is challenging.


7:30 Not as fun as it started out but hey I'm still here. Just feel really weak and not laughing and smiling as much as I was. My head is foggy and could not concentrate on the movie went with "Wipe Out," on T.V. My strength feels gone but I am determined to not having to go back because I didn't do a good prep. I just cheated a little and added some ginger ale to it. Just a little but the taste is so salty in my mouth right now, yuck! Ginger ale helps, I would try and stomach as much as you can before adding the Ginger Ale because it will make you drink more liquid if you add it.

Potty break number 6 has me reaching for my special diaper wipes just for this occasion. It's really not like normal diarrhea, I don't have cramping but you can shake my stomach and here all the liquid inside of it. The diarrhea comes on quick so you have to be close to restroom but it's really not bad. Just imagine liquid goes in and comes right back out. HAHA - okay I'm laughing again, that's good. I guess I'm documenting this on my blog as it helps me pass time and for me when I write what I am feeling, it makes it better for me. And I am hoping that when someone else needs one, maybe my blog can help ease their mind a bit?

My body feels completely drained I am not sure what I can compare that to as it's a feeling of it's on. I think I am suppose to be done drinking though and alas, I'm not. But I'm not giving up Damm IT! I can do this. Here goes glass #10

8:00 pm I am definitely over 3/4 finished glass # 11 which the nurse told me was good. I am now determined to finish it though as I see how clean I am getting. Potty trips are frequent but easy, painless and fast. I would say I have about 5 more glass to go to finish. So that will make it about 16 glasses. The end is in sight! Maybe I'll be too weak tomorrow to care what they do.


Just converted that 4 Litre (L) = 135.2560908 Ounce (fl oz) divided by 8 ounces every 10 min. =  16.875 glasses plus at least 2 glasses of Ginger Ale. PHEW!

9:30 pm I DID IT!!! I finished all 4 liters plus at least 16 ounces of Ginger Ale. Really feeling better now too. Not lightheaded and foggy anymore. Weeeeee so they say I have just passed the worst part. Really it's not been that bad, I've certainly done worse things to myself.


11:00 pm I think I can finally go to bed. Still can't believe I drank the whole thing but it just might let me sleep now. Thinking positive thoughts for tomorrow.

February 4th, 2011

Today's the day!!! Wow I was even able to get 5 hours of sleep last night too. Too tired to get too nervous about this morning. 6:15 we are leaving to get there by 6:45. I am so not a morning person but even awoke before my boyfriend.  So we all file in and get checked in and then we all wait. I'm yawning so bad I am hoping it will knock me right out. Randy had to leave me so now sitting all alone and mentally freaking out in my head. As the nurse finally came and got me, all I could say coming out of my mouth was PLEASE MAKE SURE I am sleep. They took all my vitals and as they inserted my IV, I started to instantly get the shakes. My teeth were chattering so bad, I think it was my nerves combined with the cold in the room. I'm such a freaking chicken for this kind of stuff. Once you are naked, you really don't spend too much alone time at this point. They ask you questions about what you ate last, if you finished your prep all the way, allergies and then of course, they have you sign the papers releasing the hospital of any damages they can possibly do to you from the procedure, and since you don't have your purse with you, no glasses to read what you are signing anyway.


So I meet Dr. Teller and ask him if he knows what he is doing. I also explain to him I must be out completely. Most importantly - OUT - NOT AWAKE - OUT. Well Dr. Teller was the chief surgeon of the department until the 3 days ago when a new lady took over. But he explained he has done many many many of these and only 1 out of 5,000 have complications and 20% of people will still be awake during the anesthesia but you will be comfortable. I explained again I do not want to be the 20% and give me the max on the drugs. After that they told me they were injecting something into my IV but I was still pretty conscious, so much so I actually could see the procedure on the screen but I didn't care. I think I just awoke after they had done most of their work as I did feel them take the scope out but again, watching the screen it wasn't bad at all and I didn't care. The whole ordeal was really pretty easy and goes to show you that I imagined so much worse in my head then it really was. I was never so happy as to see my mom in the waiting room thought it was a little hard to walk - felt pretty drunk in a funny way. My dad was waiting right outside in the handicap zone and like I said I was never so glad to see my parents!!! We went straight to Denny's to eat as I was starving. So again goes to show....

IT IS WHAT IT IS.....

I am grateful that the procedure went so smoothly and I that doctor thanked me for doing my prep properly.
I am grateful to have my parents still both with me and picking me up and taking me to eat.
I am grateful that they found nothing wrong with my colon and everything looked normal.
I am grateful I have the day off at work.
AND I am grateful to have my blog to write in to release my some of my apprehensions and tension.

I'm even sharing my most private photographs they gave me to take home.


If it is recommend to any of you that you should have a colonoscopy, do it with out hesitation. It really was no where near as bad as I had worked it up in my mind. Leave your dignity at the door and go do it!!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Saved By A Shark

Can a Shark save your life?


Well I started the New Year out right by falling down the stairs. Actually not down ALL the stairs but just missed that last one and fell into our new Shark Steamer. We got it for Christmas and it was still sitting there in the entrance way and broke my fall. I could have hit my head on the point of that table that BTW doesn't move very easily. My boyfriend, taking a nap on the couch there in front room, didn't even hear me crash and knock things over.



IT IS WHAT IT IS

I'm greatful I didn't seriously hurt myself or break and bones.
I'm greatful I have a boyfriend
And I am extremly greatful for having a nice house to be able to use our new Shark in.

Hope everyone has a vey prosperous New Year

Saturday, March 6, 2010

SAVE OFTEN!!!!

Anyone who has taken any computer class in the world has learned the first thing they teach you is to save often. You would think after all these years, I would remember that rule religiously but I guess you have to get screwed about 100 times before you learn.

Balancing the check book at my job can be a real challenge to say the least. I need to lock myself away in my office, undisturbed and really concentrate on it. I balance at least 6 checkbooks and the other 5 are a breeze in comparison to our main account. Problem is we take Visa, M/C and Discover, which can be processed together, Debit Cards which process separately, American Express which processes separately, Cash and Checks which go together, Instant Checks which process like credit cards but separately and Care Credit. Now some of these deposits like American Express, take their percentage right off of the sale before they deposit into your account, some of the Visa/MC/Discover cards, wait until Monday to deposit so they are batched together for up to three different days and you have to make sense of all the deposits and change the numbers from what you have put in daily to reflect their costs. Needless to say it takes awhile when there are five pages of deposits to confirm.

Today, I wanted to get caught up on everything so I could start next week off fresh with my piles of work trimmed down. I spent 2 1/2 hours working on the deposits and when I got the correct total the very first time, I jumped up and started flaunting it to my coworker. "I'm so good," etc., etc. Well what I didn't notice was, my mouse had moved and allowed the cursor to center over an area called, UNMARK. I took the heavy statement and put it down on my keyboard which somehow hit the enter key and as I watched in horror, it unchecked every single item I had just spent 2 1/2 hours marking off, right before my very eyes. You know the first sign of grief is denial.


NO NO NO, NO WAY did that all just unmark.... Awwwww yeah it did.....

What are you going to do, walk away, get some fresh air, put it back on your desk and worry about it tomorrow. I guess my boss is right when he says, I don't listen. If I did, I would have remembered to SAVE OFTEN but,

IT IS WHAT IT IS

and I am grateful I have a job and a good sense of humor. :-)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

What's Wrong With People, Including Me?

Okay so I think I'm a pretty polite person in most circumstances unless of course you piss me off. What's wrong with people today, including me? How can one little incident start your lunch hour out with such stress?

I'm getting ready to turn left onto a busy street where I am at a stop sign, no signal. One car is traveling east bound down the street so I am waiting for her to go by. She put her blinker on like she was either going to pull to the curb to park or turn right at the intersection where I was trying to turn out of. So I began easing my way out more when she suddenly pulls back into the street and honks at me and waves an angry hand at me. So I put my hand up to wave and said "Opps - Sorry" through my window. BUT I guess that was not good enough for her. She positioned her car in front of my car, rolled down the window and said, "What did you say?" in an extremely confrontational tone. "I said Sorry I thought you were going to turn or park, you had your blinker on." She says, "Sorry! You're not sorry at all." Again I said, "I said I was sorry, what do you want me to do, get out of my car, come over there and kiss your ass to prove it? I'm sorry!" She said "Yes!!" as if I should get out of my car and kiss her ass. I noticed she had a temporary handicap plaque around her rear view mirror, so being the adult that I am, I yelled at her, "You'd better move your fucking car out from in front of me or you're going to need a permanent handicap sticker."


Okay, What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING!!!! First off, she didn't have to slam on brakes or anything like that, as this was at a slug pace maybe 5 miles per hour and no threat of our hitting each other. Second, you don't need to signal to turn right two blocks away from where you are going to turn right. Hey, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. I do it all the time. Third, it took both of us longer to yell at each other and make a scene that if she could have just accepted my hand wave, my embarrassed smile and my mouth gesture of "opps sorry." At that point we both wanted confrontation and to be tested of our macho-hood. And lord knows, I can't back down from a confrontation which will probably be the death of me. But alas,

IT IS WHAT IT IS...

I'm grateful for living so close to home from my work that I can go home and chill out mid day. I'm grateful that I did not have to get out of the car and kiss OR kick ass. And I'm grateful we didn't have an accident but I just wish people out there would have a little more respect for each other. I apologize for telling her she would need a permanent handicap sticker as I would never wish that on ANYONE and have much respect for anyone who is handicapped!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Honest Abe I'm Not

I'd like to think I am a fairly honest trust worthy person. I believe in "What you do comes back to you", "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and anything you dishonestly "get away with", you will pay back three fold in the future. If a local business I frequently visit gives me the wrong change I'd let them know without hesitation, if I saw someone drop something in front of me, I'd pick it up and alert them to it and if I found some one's wallet or purse with money in it, I'd at least take the cash out, sort of service fee for my putting it in the nearest mail box to get the important info contained back to it's owner. But I don't believe in stupidity.

So, I'm standing in the check out line with my shopping cart of goodies along with a 20 pound container of cat liter. When I approach the counter, I ask the checker if I need to put it on the counter or can she scan it in my basket. "No, leave it as I can scan it there," I am assured. After everything is rung up, I never saw her come to the cart and again asked her if that included my cat liter. "Opps no it does not" and I tell her, "Cause there is no way I want free cat liter as I will pay for it later in some other form." She smiles and proceeds back to her register hits enter and tells me to swipe my card. But the price is exactly what she told me 15 seconds ago, so I politely keep my mouth shut and agree to my purchase.

Now I have asked her twice to charge me for my cat liter and even explained how I don't want it free and she still gives it to me free. I guess "Honest Abe" I am not and as I walk away with my purchase as I felt her stupidity shouldn't be rewarded with my honesty. But,


It Is What it Is....



and now I am wondering if I just "shop lifted." I'm grateful for the free kitty liter as my three little ones will make good use of it but I don't feel good for getting away with it as I know that's why everything costs more in stores as items are stolen or even in this case, given away.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Chasing For Wild Geese In The Rain

So I walk into my neighborhood Sports Store and see the perfect jacket. Problem is, it's not the size my boyfriend can wear so what to do? Ask the front counter if there are more in stock in my size or what other stores might have one.

The front counter checked her computer and found one about 30 miles away and they were willing to put it on hold for me. At least three times I asked is it the same color and make just in a larger size. "Yes, of course yes.. same skew number, same color, just a larger size and they will hold it for 24 hours for you." So I reply, "Yes please!!!" Now, it's pouring down rain as I ponder what to do as far as venturing out in rain slick streets tonight, Friday in rush hour traffic or wait until Saturday morning where we are expecting a larger storm. I opted for going now and making sure I have the jacket to complete my surprise present.



The normal 45 minute drive turned into an hour and a half as I fight my way across flooded surface streets and hundreds of cars. Looking for signs and addresses in the dark, Awwwww there it is. But where do you park as Wilshire Boulevard doesn't sport many street parking spaces and high rises want a minimum of $5.00 to park. But after a few circles around the block, waaa laaa.. a space opens up. I'm exciting approach the front counter and explain who I am and how my local store has called to hold my jacket. The woman goes into her secret stash in the back and pulls out my jacket very politely. But wait, what's this???? Yes it is the same similar jacket but in a gawd awful color. So I explained how I was reassured that they had the one I wanted in stock and this is NOT it. They really were not all that helpful as my disappointment grew.


WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMUNICATION??


So I decide on my own to do a tedious search through every jacket there thinking maybe they missed it. Holy shit, I almost shouted as I find the one I want but now it's twice I big as I needed. Hmmmmmm, my visualization goes into effect to try and imagine if this will fit my boyfriend so what to do. I start scanning the store for any man who looks as tall and same build but doesn't speak English so I felt like I was on an episode of "I survived a Japanese Game Show," as I try to ask a non English speaking Korean man to take off his jacket and put this one on. His face was skeptical and non friendly but after my award winning smile visually convinced him, he undressed and tried my jacket on. So trying to visualize your man in another man's body, I think it will work and after all I drove all this way to not come home with something would be self defeating so I made my purchase and fought another over an hours worth of traffic. Now if it doesn't fit him, there's no where else to buy one in the Los Angeles area. My question is, should I have bought it since if it doesn't fit he can't exchange it anywhere for one that does as no one has one, and how disappointed will I be if his reaction doesn't meet or exceed the trouble it took me to get it?
But it IS WHAT IT IS.....


And I am grateful I had a friend to tag along with me on the ride, I didn't get into one of the many weather related accidents recorded last night, I had the money and gas to spend as many don't have that luxury and it's the first time in 7 years I actually have a man to buy something for anyway. :-)